


Memories on a Winter's Night

by Beware_of_Starlight



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 02:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17153936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beware_of_Starlight/pseuds/Beware_of_Starlight
Summary: It's a long cold Night in Domino and Kaiba has a lot to think before morning comes...





	Memories on a Winter's Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is my secret Santa for nishianaa524 on tumblr. I hope you like it, it was really fun to write!

The snow had been falling for hours outside the window of Kaibas office. He had hardly noticed when the day turned to night, the last people in the office tower had left, and all that remained where he and his current project. To be honest, he actually preferred it that way, the silent hour where he was alone with his work and there was no danger of any idiot suddenly barking in and interrupting with some sort of problem that a four-year old could solve in his sleep. When he could focus just on his project and nothing else. Of course it was at that exact moment, when a new message chimed up on his screen, tearing him out of the work flow he had so pleasantly spent the last few hours in.

He glared at screen, but still opened the message. It was from Mokuba after all and his little brother was the only one who could interrupt him at times like this. The only one who actually dared, if he thought about it. Everybody else had long learned that even thinking about pulling a stunt like this was likely to get them their head bitten of for their trouble. His eyes flew over the display, as he read it. Nothing out of the usual, Mokuba standard reminder that his older brother was spending way too much time in the office and should take a break now, or else…Kaiba hide a smile. Mokuba was always worrying too much. They both knew Kaiba would ignore his advice as usual and what did it matter if he got a lack of sleep? Sleep was for the weak and that project was important, he had to finish it now. He was about to close the message, when his eyes caught on the last sentence, just after final reprimand to get some rest. “You got an important meeting tomorrow after all. Can´t have you loosing because you were too stubborn to realise you´re overtired and not thinking straight.” Oh that. The one thing Kaiba was trying to ignore this time, by drowning it in work.

He leaned back in his chair, his fingers thrumming a fast rhythm without realising it. The…meeting as Mokuba had so diplomatically called it, because Kaiba himself wasn´t sure what to call it. Mokuba implied a duel, because that was what it had to be, that was Kaiba was expecting it to be, except…except Yami hadn’t mentioned one. Just that Kaiba should meet him tomorrow morning. He had smiled, he had challenged Kaiba, had dared him to show up, eyes sparkling with that smirk which was also visible on his face, because he had to know that Kaiba would never not rise to challenge…but he hadn’t mentioned a Duel.  Had just smiled and told Kaiba to be on time.

And that alone was so strange that Kaiba hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. Or, since he actually didn´t want to think about that, buried himself and everyone working with him in so much to do, that he hadn´t had time to think about that. His standard solution for things he couldn´t fix with technology or pure determination. And it had worked, he had almost completely forgotten about the strange meeting…until Mokuba just had to drag it up.

With an irritated sigh, Kaiba let himself sink back into his chair. Well, now there wasn´t any chance in hell he would be able to focus on work again. Thanks, Mokuba. His little brother always knew when it was the right time to bring something up. His gaze wandered away from the screen, out of the window and through the snow, without really seeing anything. He still had a bit of time before morning…time to decide what to do about Yami…or Atem as he was calling himself now.

Kaiba nearly snorted. One weird trip to Egypt, and himself admitting that maybe there was just the slightest possibility that they hadn´t all suffered from some weird form of mass hallucination, and suddenly everybody acted as if he had lost his mind too and started to accept all their crazy stories. As if…But Atem…he hated to admit it, even to himself, but he had been fascinated by him, even right from the beginning. The moment the meek little boy he was walking over while denying that he had stolen his grandfather’s white dragon card suddenly wasn´t so meek anymore, but dared to look him directly in the eye, to challenge him…that was the moment his interest had been caught, even through the haze of hate he had been living under during those days. And then he hadn´t just stood up to him, but actually beat him. Had done this again and again, despite everything Kaiba had thrown in his way even…even Death-T.

Kaiba turned his head away. Death-T wasn´t something he liked to think about, which was only partly rooted in the fact that he hardly could remember anything about it in the first place. There were bits and pieces, but mostly it was like chasing a bad dream, he couldn´t quite remember what happened. And he hated that feeling of not knowing, not understanding something. Mokuba stood out among those memories, even then, and…what he did to him was something Kaiba would never be able to forgive himself for. That he remembered. And he remembered Atem, calling him out, challenging him, beating him again…and then still trying to help him. As if Kaiba would have needed his pity.

But when he had woken up, afterwards, feeling clear in his head and in control of his own actions for the first time years, Mokuba had been his first thought and Atem his second. Duelist Kingdom had been about saving his brother first and foremost, but Kaiba had also tried to reclaim himself, to figure out again, where he stood, and Atem…Atem had been the perfect foil for that. The one he had to beat to truly become himself again, to prove to himself that he had not lost, not truly. Because he had learned all too well his lection on what happened to losers.

And he had been prepared to pay the price, to rather let Atem kill him, than fail his brother. Atem hadn’t delivered the blow, because Yugi had interrupted them, something Kaiba had then believed to be sign of his opponents true weakness, but if anyone had to be the one to finish him off, at least it would have been someone he respected.

The thought was a bit unsettling, even for him, and the fact that Atem had then done it again, that he and the others had saved Kaiba again, and more importantly had saved Mokuba too, was even more so. He hated owing something to other people, hated the position of weakness this put him in. They had never called in the debt, didn´t even seem to think about it, but that just made it worse. That made it far too close to pity.

And so Kaiba had redoubled his efforts to beat Atem. Battle City had been a means to and end for that too, a way to get the cards necessary to beat him. And if he had to drag his opponent up himself, to remind him to fight, no matter what happened, that if god stood in your way, you mowed him down too, and if he also just happened to safe Atem´s friends with the white dragon card, something he regretted to this day, then it had all been just steps on the way to this end. To beating him. Nothing more.

The virtual world had been a minor detour, a reckoning of a past he hadn´t particularly wanted to meet ever again. Turned out his oh so beloved adopted father couldn´t even manage to stay death properly. And Atem had saved him and Mokuba again…the pattern that emerged was not a particularly uplifting one, but it highlighted just why Kaiba had been so set on beating Atem. He could admit that much to least: It had been just as much about proofing himself, about making sure those debts were finally getting cleaned of the table, than it was about proving him to be stronger than him after all.

It was comfortable dance, a familiar pattern it was easy to fall into, and Kaiba had always liked those. It made dealing with others more predictable, easier to handle. And then that Egypt trip had to happen, and throw over the whole, perfectly arranged table.

Kaiba frowned. Outside the window the snowfall was slowly thinning, and the darkness didn´t look quite as thick as before. Egypt...what had happened there had shaken him more than he had admitted, had suddenly mad all the mad talk from the others sound … not true, never that, but just the thinnest bit less mad. He still hadn’t quite worked through everything that had happened in his own mind, and the whole mass hallucination theory was far from off the table but…but there still was the undeniable fact that suddenly there had been not just one Yugi with an erratically changing personality, but two different people. 

He had still been dealing with that one, when the final duel between Yugi and Atem had happened and the impossible suddenly became true. Yugi had beaten Atem, the one Kaiba had always seen as the weaker of that pair had done what Kaiba himself had never managed, and beaten Atem. And Atem…was leaving.

He hadn´t really believed it, not right up until that moment when Atem had turned away from them all, away from him, towards that door and just started to walk away. Kaiba hadn´t been able to do anything, say anything, had been frozen on the spot when he watched his rival, the one person who challenged him, the one person apart from Mokuba who somehow believed Kaiba could be better than he was, the one who was able to rile him up, walk away. Funny, he hadn’t thought that there was anything inside him still left to break, but in this moment he had truly felt the world shatter around him, and something, some part he hadn´t even realised still existed, fall apart inside him. It was one hell of a moment to have a sudden revelation, one he couldn´t ignore for the full force it hit him with.

And then, just when he was sure that this was it, that Atem would leave and he would just shatter there and then, or do what he did best, throw himself into full denial and find a way to bring him back, even if it involved putting that damned puzzle Yugi and the others were so obsessed with together himself piece by piece, Atem had stopped and turned around.

For moment his eyes had seemed to land on Kaiba, head tilted sideways, watching for something, and even if it probably had just been a delusion based on Kaibas annoying emotions going all over the place, Atem had seemed to smile. To focus completely on Kaiba and smile. And he had stepped away from that door without even throwing one look back.

Since then Kaiba had practically ignored his existence. Had done his best to bury his embarrassing revelation in the tomb, and that weird moment between them in front of the door under work and ignorance. It had never happened, he didn´t want to deal with whatever it had been, so it should never have happened in the first place.

It probably had gone a bit too far, if even Yugi, who despite somehow growing at least traces of a backbone when Kaiba hadn´t been watching, but who still wasn´t the most forceful person around, had asked him about that. Or at least voiced some confusion about the fact that, despite months having passed in the meantime, Kaiba had yet to challenge Atem to a single duel. It almost sounded concerned, and he was lucky it only sounded like this, because if he had been a little more open about his concern, Kaiba might have just ended their cooperation there and then, no matter how interesting his new game idea sounded. 

And now dawn was breaking and Atem had challenged him himself to meeting…duel, and …and Kaiba watched the sun rise over the horizon, or whatever passed for one on Domino either way, and realised that he was actually afraid. That, if he went there, he would have to face Atem, and deal with whatever happened in the tomb. With whatever it was that he was feeling.

His computer peeped again, a new message coming in, and Kaiba slightly turned his head, to see that it only contained one word: Ready? It wasn’t  from Mokuba, that was the biggest surprise, but from Yugi, and the more Kaiba stared at it, the more the little word seemed to actually mock him. Because he didn´t knew the answer to that one. Was he ready? 

But there was something more in this word a quite challenge, and no matter how nervous Kaiba felt, no matter how much he would rather pour himself over the latest designs for Yugis game, because that was work and work was a challenge he was good at…he wasn´t going to give into that. He was Seto Kaiba and he wouldn´t back down from anything. Even if this meeting could be the very thing that broke him down entirely. 

He didn´t even grace the message with an answer, just turned around, grabbed his cloak, and rushed on his way. And as the sun started to rise, when he arrived at the place Atem had choosen, he found him already waiting. Smiling as he watched him approach, full of relieve that he showed up, and joy…and a challenge, some unspoken thing that Kaiba probably would hear about finally sooner or later. “Finally. You took your time, Kaiba.” But there was no reproach in Atems words, and Kaiba found himself answering that smile with a smirk of his own. He took a step towards him, and one more, and something inside himself shifted, as if he could breathe again. As if the world was right once more.

 


End file.
